Finding relief and acceptance from support groups | Zachariah McCallister

Recovery can be a long, complicated process which everyone goes through in different ways.  Recovery happens for different reasons:  it could be medical, emotional, or about self-improvement.  My recovery occurred because of the brain trauma and nerve damage I received from an accident a few years ago. I have made great progress, but there are some things I wish I had done differently.

A regret I have is never trying to connect with others who have experienced brain trauma.  There were times I felt isolated and alone because of my situation.  During these times my family and friends had a hard time trying to understand the support I needed.  They could not see what my injuries were or how they were affecting me.  I could not figure out how to describe what had changed and what I needed.  There were times when the easiest thing to do was to avoid everyone. 

McCallister

Two years after my accident I started realizing which changes would likely never heal.  I decided to look for a support group.  Even though I found some, I did not attend one.  I tricked myself into thinking that my experiences were unique.  I also felt guilty asking for help when I was mostly okay.  My mind changed and my ability to think was difficult, but I could still walk, talk, and do most of the things I enjoyed doing.  As I look back, not reaching out for help was one of the biggest mistakes I made.

I missed so much by not joining a support group.  Comfort, support, and understanding can be found in a group of people with shared experiences.  You do not have to be guarded or worry about being judged.  Knowledge and wisdom can be gained from the stories each person brings to the group.  You are seen as a whole person who needs support and you are more than a diagnosis that needs medication.  You and the group decide what you need to feel better and how to meet those needs.

Last fall marked the ninth year after my accident.  I finally got the chance to visit two support groups because of my work at the Center for Community Support and Research.  I felt relief to be around people who understood me, even though I had already worked through most of my challenges.  I no longer felt odd.  My personal experience has strengthened my resolve to recommend support groups when someone tells me they feel alone and are facing a difficulty.  Some things in life are already hard to get through, why try to get through them alone?

Editor’s Note: Zachariah is currently in the second semester of his Wichita State University social work practicum at CCSR.